Gum and Guns: The Frankenset Recap (Page 63: Cards 560-568)

Welcome to another installment of a series covering my completed Frankenset. I thought it would be fun to share the set page by page on this blog, and also provide some random commentary with each page. More information on the Frankenset as well as links to the pages that have been revealed can be found here.

Today we'll look at page 63 of the set, which includes cards #560 to 568. 

1994 Collector's Choice #560 - Jose Canseco

Dateline 1994: Jose still keeping up the charade that his athleticism was all-natural.

2001 Topps #561 - Trot Nixon

Trot's given name? Christopher Trotman Nixon. 

1989 Upper Deck #562 - Carney Lansford

Carney and the ump discussing dinner plans. 

1989 Topps #563 - Bill Schroeder

Just happy to be here, Skip!

1976 Topps #564 - Kurt Bevacqua

Bevacqua defeated Johnny Oates in the final round of the Joe Garagiola Bazooka Bubble Gum Blowing Championship (better known as the JGBBGBC). The Tigers and Pirates were the only teams not to send a player to join the competition, depriving us of knowing the bubble blowing potential of John Wockenfuss or Rennie Stennett. 

1991 Fleer #565 - Bill Pecota

Even if he checked his swing, this still looks like a strike. 

1991 Topps #566 - Craig Wilson

Did Wilson hit .171 in 1991 because he was spending too much time on his juggling? You decide.

1983 Fleer #567 - John Grubb

Ranger Aid fell out of popularity after people discovered its two ingredients were crude oil and the tears of Rangers fans.

1998 Fleer Tradition #568 - Miguel Cairo

Hacky sack with a baseball? Better be wearing your steel-toed cleats.

What is your favorite card from the page? I almost have to go with the Bevacqua, probably followed by Carney Lansford arguing (I love player/manager arguing cards), and maybe Bill Pecota third. 

Wait, What's Your Name Again? (Donruss Names Series - Part 2)

Recently, I brought you on a journey reliving the glory of 1981 to 1992 Donruss. Specifically, I took a look at some quite famous players who actually went by their middle name during their playing career. The Donruss card company made this excursion possible. And we aren't done yet. In the coming weeks, I will share with you other nuggets found buried on the otherwise forgettable backs of Donruss baseball cards from the time period 1981 to 1992 (coinciding with the years the company listed the player's full name on the back of the card). 

Today's installment looks at players whom you are sure went by a nickname. You will think, there's no way that's his real name. But it is. As I see it, these lie on a spectrum from, "Hmm... that's kind of surprising" to "That's the most absurd thing I've heard since the one game wildcard round." We have seven candidates today, so here we go:

7. (Tie) Junior Felix (1990 Donruss) and Junior Kennedy (1982 Donruss)

In my experience, Junior is typically a nickname for someone who shares his name with his father. Uncertain if that's the case here. Junior Kennedy is thinking here: "Are you really doubting my name? The nerve!"

5. Mickey Tettleton (1986 Donruss)

This one makes more sense when you consider that Tettleton and Mickey Mantle both grew up in Oklahoma. Mantle's first name was also not a nickname.

4. U. L. Washington (1982 Donruss)

We are left to speculate if U. L.'s parents meant to convey any meaning by his initials. Some quick brainstorming ideas:

1) Useful Lefty (He was a switch hitter, so it kind of works)

2) Understated Legend (Not sure this one holds up in the baseball world)

3) Unusual Laugh (Anybody know U.L. or how he laughs?)

3. Carney Lansford (1986 Leaf - Yes, I know this is a Leaf card, but we love the Canadians here in ND)

Carney was featured in a previous post. He is known by me for his glasses and mustache (see above photo), as well as his blurry 1982 Fleer card. And my sister and I always enjoyed his name. 

2. Spike Owen (1990 Donruss)

Spike was destined for one of three possible careers:

1) Railroad construction worker

2) Bartender

3) Professional athlete who wears spikes

Career #3 it is! (For the record, Spike Lee's first name is Shelton.)

It was quite difficult to choose between #2 and #1. In all honesty, I think I just went with the name I like better. The last name is arguably as fantastic as the first. So, I present to you the one and only:

1. Biff Pocoroba (1984 Donruss)

Sadly, Biff Pocoroba passed away last Sunday at the age of 66. 

The only other Biff I know of is from Back to the Future. And I always assumed it was a nickname. Not so in the case of Mr. Pocoroba. But credit to his parents because if there ever was someone who looked like a Biff, it was Biff Pocoroba. May he rest in peace.

Well, thanks for stopping by. There will be more of the Donruss Names Series, but I won't tell you how much more or else you might end up abandoning this blog forever. Then I'll feel the desperation of Krusty the Clown when he lost the rights to show Itchy and Scratchy cartoons: "We've got some real good toy commercials coming up, I swear!" 

The Blurrification of Carney Lansford

Some of my collecting tendencies have a rationale that makes sense to most people, like the player collections I have or sets I am trying to complete. Others, however, are let's say... less intuitive. After all, everyone has their own tastes and that is something that makes it fun to read and discuss others' perspectives. I'm not sure there is anyone else out there that sets aside cards when the picture is blurry. That's really the only criterion - blurry picture. Certain sets seem to produce more of these gems than others: 1986 and 1990 Topps are at the top of that list. Here are some examples of those, with an 88 Topps thrown in just for funsies (and to see Steve Trout in an unfamiliar Yankees uniform). 

The scans don't do these cards justice, but in a different way than how that phrase is typically used. The scan doesn't show just how blurry these cards are. That is, the scan doesn't make them look bad enough, when the opposite is generally true. In any event, I marvel at these cards and set them aside whenever I rummage through a box of commons. 

EXCEPT....

If that box of commons includes 1982 Fleer. Because if I set aside every blurry card I found in that set, I might as well just compile the entire set. The examples of blurry cards from Fleer's second year back in the hobby are abundant. 

Take a good look at this guy, who will be traded during the 1982 season to the Phillies for Larry Bowa and a 22-year-old 3rd baseman named Ryne Sandberg:

Problem: You can't really get a good look at him, even in this close-up picture, since it's so out of focus. 

And it's unfortunate, really. Another travesty is the fact that in this Carney Lansford card, we are deprived of a good look at Carney's perfect 80s mustache and awesome glasses.

Also interesting to note is that there is some blur-variation within the set, even with different copies of the same card. Here, I have two copies of the same card (yay, duplicates!), both of Glenn Hoffman (Trevor's brother. Yes, I'm serious. Look it up.) Though both copies of the card have a blur factor, the one on the left is just slightly fuzzier. 

Even sadder in this case because it appears that Hoffman has both feet off the ground in this photo. Pretty cool, I would say. Or an illusion caused by the blurriness. You decide! 

So how did this happen? All this blurriness. I'm not certain and researching it seems unappealing, so I made up a story in my head instead. 

It all starts with a guy named Phil. Phil has been with Fleer for over 20 years now, and one thing you need to know about Phil is that he came up with the idea for the 1961 Fleer Baseball Greats series. Actually, Phil was only in charge of one picture on one card, Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown. It's a card I would love to own.

Why?

1961 Fleer Baseball Greats #11, Mordecai Brown.

Instead of a photo of Brown in his 19-aught-6 glory (1.06 ERA!), Phil dug up a photo probably taken at a Chicago Old-timers banquet. But please, give Phil some credit, since he found a card of Brown when the Cubs ace was 93 years old, when Three Finger actually died at the too young age of 71. 

Fast forward to 1982. Fleer is battling with fellow little guy Donruss and behemoth Topps for a piece of the baseball card pie. They put Phil in charge of some photos. And Phil takes the bull by the horns, completing his portion of the set just two days after taking the snapping the pictures. He brings his completed work to the Fleer executives.

Fleer executive: OK, Phil. Whatcha got?

Phil: OK, so I had this great idea to expedite the whole card making process. I took the pictures of the players...

FE: Yes...

Phil: And got them developed at the Snap and Save (made up photo place). 

FE: OK...

Phil: Then I rushed back to the office, made color photocopies of the pictures (no idea if that was possible in 1982), and then cut and pasted them onto the card template.

FE: Wait, wait, wait a minute. So take us through this again. How did you ---

Phil: AND THEN, I took those templates, photocopied them AGAIN, and cut them up myself into the individual cards. Took maybe a total of 90 minutes.

FE: (Stunned silence) OK Phil. (Pause) How much did you spend?

Phil: $31.83.

FE: Well... unfortunately, our budget for the whole set was $38. So we'll have to just go with it. Alright people, let's get these puppies printed!

And this concludes the story of how 1982 Fleer cards became so blurry.